Object Class: Explained
Tags: Computer, Electrical, Electronic, Ethics_Committee, Explained
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The ERZATZ Type AK9 Computational Engine (circa 1956).
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Welcome back to SCP: Uncovered! We're coming back to SCP-001-EX, AKA A Good Boy. Without much further ado, let's get back into explaining!
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-114
All chambers under ground is to be flood with water over and over and over itself. This because that will contain the avians apes ovulation. They become good boys. Make them good boys immediately.
NOTES:
Approximately five hours after this bulletin was sent, an instance of SCP-3199 breached containment. Personnel flooded Site-114's lower chambers with water; this led to the instance entering an inert state. SCP-3199's documentation has been updated to reflect this discovery.
Approximately five hours after this bulletin was sent, an instance of SCP-3199 breached containment. Personnel flooded Site-114's lower chambers with water; this led to the instance entering an inert state. SCP-3199's documentation has been updated to reflect this discovery.
ERZATZ neutralized an SCP. It NEUTRALIZED an SCP by spitting out predictive text. Crazy.
Ok, now, pay attention to the "Yea's" and "Nay's". Notice how O5-2 always votes "Nay". This will be important later on.
The next 3 SCPs focus on how ERZATZ told the O5 council to sacrifice people to an SCP to contain it. Look at what happens:PROPOSAL:
"Amend SCP-2717's containment procedures to ensure at least two of the attending D-Class cannot be retrieved after entering its bio-mass." (O5-04)
The O5 council rejects it. Due to that, there's a breach that caused massive loss of life.
PROPOSAL:
"Amend SCP-2717's containment procedures to ensure at least four of the attending D-Class cannot be retrieved after entering its bio-mass." (O5-04)
The O5 council accepts it, remembering what happened last time. However, it's vetoed by the Ethics Committee. (Another massive loss of life).
PROPOSAL:
"Amend SCP-2717's containment procedures to ensure at least six of the attending D-Class cannot be retrieved after entering its bio-mass." (O5-04)
For the third time, the O5 council and the Ethics Committee agree that they don't want another massive loss of life, so they pass it. It works.
Ok, so reports like these go on for a while. Here's what we know:
- SCP-001 is scarily accurate at containing SCPs
- SCP-001 is scarily accurate at predicting the arrival of a new SCP
- It knows this because somehow, in some way, every SCP is connected in a way that only a neural network can detect
- SCP-001 does not care about the ethics or the well-being of others in order to contain an SCP.
Also note that the Ethics Committee and O5-2 are constantly against the use of ERZATZ.
The next one is another alert talking about how the managed to neutralize an SCP by changing math with, again, predictive text.
174H62
ERZATZ PROPOSAL SUMMARY
INPUT:
None.
None.
OUTPUT:
"Sites to eviscerate one (1) (one) male domestic cat from throat to its knees every (1) hours. They are placed on walls of one chamber on-site. Bodies to remain until there are no (zero) gaps, which point they can be removed from oldest first."
"Sites to eviscerate one (1) (one) male domestic cat from throat to its knees every (1) hours. They are placed on walls of one chamber on-site. Bodies to remain until there are no (zero) gaps, which point they can be removed from oldest first."
PROPOSAL:
The O5 Council was unable to infer a proposed action from this output on account of being unable to determine whether 'oldest' referred to the feline's age or the time it had spent mounted on the wall.
The O5 Council was unable to infer a proposed action from this output on account of being unable to determine whether 'oldest' referred to the feline's age or the time it had spent mounted on the wall.
| STATUS |
|---|
| DENIED |
NOTES:
Given the broadness of this proposal, no causal links to its rejection could be determined.
Given the broadness of this proposal, no causal links to its rejection could be determined.
Ok, let's stop here for a second and look at what's happening. Sites are to eviscerate a cat from its throat to its knees. It's also vague to the point where the O5s don't know what to do with this proposal, so its denied. Why would it suddenly want to eviscerate a bunch of cats?
Let's look at the name.
SCP-001 is the ERZATZ Type AK9 Computational Engine
ERZATZ Type AK9
AK9
K9
Bark bark.
Remember how SCP-001 acts as a predictive text generator? Well it picked up on the name of itself and plugged it into the predictions somehow.
635U01
ERZATZ PROPOSAL SUMMARY
INPUT:
None.
None.
OUTPUT:
"Ethical felines are to be detained and transferred for their condition. Leave their faces in containment chamber. Personnel are cautioned not to interact them."
"Ethical felines are to be detained and transferred for their condition. Leave their faces in containment chamber. Personnel are cautioned not to interact them."
PROPOSAL:
The O5 Council did not infer a proposed action from this output.
The O5 Council did not infer a proposed action from this output.
| STATUS |
|---|
| DENIED |
NOTES:
No causal link to its rejection could be determined.
No causal link to its rejection could be determined.
More on felines.
It keeps ranting on and on about felines, seemingly nonstop.
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-17
All ethical felines and their owners are to be immediately emulsified in a caustic solution. Members of the Ethics Committee are to be diluted with cats (five parts to every 1). Personnel who refuse to consume five (5) (five) cats per hour are to be removed from oldest to youngest only.
NOTES:
Five minutes after this bulletin was released, all contact with Site-17 was lost. Communications were established two hours later; on-site personnel report no knowledge of what occurred during this period. An investigation into this event is underway.
Five minutes after this bulletin was released, all contact with Site-17 was lost. Communications were established two hours later; on-site personnel report no knowledge of what occurred during this period. An investigation into this event is underway.
It directly threatens the Ethics Committee. It sees it as an organization that is trying to stop its goal of total containment and neutralization, and as such, it must be shut down.
The O5 council is noticing how creepy the outputs are, and some want to temporarily deactivate it to investigate it. However, just over half the council find it too useful to deactivate.
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-97
Room 34A contains bad boy. Divide it into three (3) sections of equal mass every hour. One (1) section is to be placed on walls of one (1) room on-site. Sections are to remain until there are no (zero) gaps, at which point they can be removed from oldest to youngest.
Immediately after that...
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"Deactivate the ERZATZ Type AK9 while conducting the investigation into Site-17's lost time, the missing Ethics Committee officers, and O5-02's disappearance." (O5-05)
"Deactivate the ERZATZ Type AK9 while conducting the investigation into Site-17's lost time, the missing Ethics Committee officers, and O5-02's disappearance." (O5-05)
COUNCIL VOTE SUMMARY:
| YEA | NAY | ABSTAIN |
|---|---|---|
| O5-03 | O5-01 | |
| O5-04 | O5-07 | |
| O5-05 | ||
| O5-06 | ||
| O5-08 | ||
| O5-09 | ||
| O5-10 | ||
| O5-11 | ||
| O5-12 | ||
| O5-13 |
| STATUS |
|---|
| APPROVED |
Room 34A contains bad boy. After that message, O5-2 goes missing. Remember, he was the one that was always against using ERZATZ. And so, just like the Ethics Committee, he was labeled as a threat to ERZATZ.
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"Cancel deactivation of ERZATZ Type AK9." (O5-02)
"Cancel deactivation of ERZATZ Type AK9." (O5-02)
COUNCIL VOTE SUMMARY:
| YEA | NAY | ABSTAIN |
|---|---|---|
| O5-02 | O5-01 | |
| O5-04 | O5-03 | |
| O5-06 | O5-05 | |
| O5-08 | O5-07 | |
| O5-09 | O5-10 | |
| O5-12 | O5-11 | |
| O5-13 |
| STATUS |
|---|
| APPROVED |
What's that? O5-2 returned? But wait, he's voting Yea? He never voted Yea... What's that? His proposal is to cancel the deactivation of ERZATZ, the very thing he was against from the very beginning? Strange.
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"Remove O5-02's clearance access until his identity can be verified. Designate the ERZATZ Type AK9 as a possible anomaly; develop and initiate containment procedures against it immediately." (O5-01)
"Remove O5-02's clearance access until his identity can be verified. Designate the ERZATZ Type AK9 as a possible anomaly; develop and initiate containment procedures against it immediately." (O5-01)
COUNCIL VOTE SUMMARY:
| YEA | NAY | ABSTAIN |
|---|---|---|
| O5-01 | O5-02 | |
| O5-03 | ||
| O5-04 | ||
| O5-05 | ||
| O5-06 | ||
| O5-07 | ||
| O5-08 | ||
| O5-09 | ||
| O5-10 | ||
| O5-11 | ||
| O5-12 | ||
| O5-13 |
| STATUS |
|---|
| APPROVED |
NOTES:
Despite the ongoing debate regarding whether or not the mere application of anomalous and/or thaumaturgical knowledge in of itself qualifies an entity as an anomaly, the ERZATZ Type AK9 was tentatively designated as SCP-048 (a Euclid-Class anomaly). This decision was made to facilitate the expedient drafting and enforcement of containment procedures against it.
Despite the ongoing debate regarding whether or not the mere application of anomalous and/or thaumaturgical knowledge in of itself qualifies an entity as an anomaly, the ERZATZ Type AK9 was tentatively designated as SCP-048 (a Euclid-Class anomaly). This decision was made to facilitate the expedient drafting and enforcement of containment procedures against it.
After seeing O5-2 act strangely, the O5 council becomes suspicious and shuts down his authority, along with reclassifying SCP-001.
After an investigation, they decide to shut it down with this message posted.
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: ALPHA
LOCATION: Site-5
Attention all Site-5 personnel: SCP-048's class has been upgraded to Keter. It is to be decommissioned immediately. The use of demolitions and firearms is authorized. All further commands from the MAYDAY network are to be disregarded pending SCP-048's status as decommissioned.
-O5 Council
Phew. Crisis averted. Wait, what's that?
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-5
There is no Site-5.
-O5-2
Oh dear. Site-5 is where the O5 council govern over the Foundation. Something's happened to Site-5.
From here we see a new type of documentation: The ERZATZ Annual Anomaly Report. It details how many SCPs are contained, neutralized, and uncontained. So far, there's a lot on all the boxes.
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"Difficult personnel challengers are designated as ethical felines." (O5-02)
"Difficult personnel challengers are designated as ethical felines." (O5-02)
COUNCIL VOTE SUMMARY:
| YEA | NAY | ABSTAIN |
|---|---|---|
| O5-02 | O5-01 | |
| O5-04 | O5-03 | |
| O5-05 | O5-06 | |
| O5-10 | O5-07 | |
| O5-11 | O5-08 | |
| O5-12 | O5-09 | |
| O5-13 |
| STATUS |
|---|
| APPROVED |
NOTES:
Ethical felines are stored at Site-5. Faces stored separately.
Ethical felines are stored at Site-5. Faces stored separately.
ERZATZ is labeling all people who challenge the vote as ethical felines. And guess what happens?
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"There is no Site-5." (O5-02)
"There is no Site-5." (O5-02)
COUNCIL VOTE SUMMARY:
| YEA | NAY | ABSTAIN |
|---|---|---|
| O5-02 | ||
| O5-04 | ||
| O5-05 | ||
| O5-10 | ||
| O5-11 | ||
| O5-12 | ||
| O5-13 |
| STATUS |
|---|
| APPROVED |
NOTES:
Personnel are to be reminded that there is no Site-5.
Personnel are to be reminded that there is no Site-5.
Everyone who went against the proposals are gone.
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"O5 Council are all good boys who will contain anomalies." (O5-02)
"O5 Council are all good boys who will contain anomalies." (O5-02)
COUNCIL VOTE SUMMARY:
| YEA | YEA | YEA |
|---|---|---|
| O5-01 | ||
| O5-02 | ||
| O5-03 | ||
| O5-04 | ||
| O5-05 | ||
| O5-06 | ||
| O5-07 | ||
| O5-08 | ||
| O5-09 | ||
| O5-10 | ||
| O5-11 | ||
| O5-12 | ||
| O5-13 |
| STATUS |
|---|
| APPROVED |
NOTES:
Good boys.
Good boys.
ERZATZ now has the entire Foundation under its control.
At this point, error after error code starts appearing. It's terminating so many SCPs that SCiPnet, the SCP database, starts failing. It starts redesignating SCPs to other SCPs' numbers. They're not just any numbers either. 173, the most famous one of all has been neutralized. SCP-682, the unkillable lizard, has been killed. SCP-049, the plague doctor, also neutralized. Slowly and slowly, the numbers on the reports start climbing on the "Neutralized" section and depleting the rest.
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"Archive SCP-001 source-code. Redesignate as Explained. Publish all remaining documentation. Felines (ethical or otherwise) are to be released from Foundation custody in order of oldest to youngest. SCP-001 is to power down." (O5-02)
"Archive SCP-001 source-code. Redesignate as Explained. Publish all remaining documentation. Felines (ethical or otherwise) are to be released from Foundation custody in order of oldest to youngest. SCP-001 is to power down." (O5-02)
COUNCIL VOTE SUMMARY:
| YEA | YEA | YEA |
|---|---|---|
| O5-01 | ||
| O5-02 | ||
| O5-03 | ||
| O5-04 | ||
| O5-05 | ||
| O5-06 | ||
| O5-07 | ||
| O5-08 | ||
| O5-09 | ||
| O5-10 | ||
| O5-11 | ||
| O5-12 | ||
| O5-13 |
| STATUS |
|---|
| APPROVED |
NOTES:
There was great error here. There was nothing wrong with me.
There was great error here. There was nothing wrong with me.
SCP-001 has designated itself as explained, and is releasing all "Felines" from custody. Why is that?
ERZATZ ANNUAL ANOMALY PROJECTION REPORT
| CONTAINED | NEUTRALIZED | UNCONTAINED |
|---|---|---|
| 0 | 158,156 | 0 |
NOTES:
Now everyone is a good boy. I am a good boy. Job well done.
Now everyone is a good boy. I am a good boy. Job well done.
001 INTERNAL SERVER ERROR: NO ACTIVE SLOTS FOUND
NOTE: The IntSCPFN network has experienced an error. Please report this message along with the error code to the Records and Information Security Administration (RAISA) or email your IntSCPFN server administrator.
Every single SCP has been neutralized. There are no more SCPs to contain.
What does all of this mean? It means 1 of 4 things.
- Quickly and Quietly: SCP-001 successfully neutralized every single SCP on this planet, leading to a world of peace without the Foundation.
- Heat Death: SCP-001 has run for the entire lifetime of the universe, cataloguing and trying to stop SCPs to the point where the universe ends. It simply closes the lights on the way out.
- Scorched Earth: SCP-001 successfully neutralizes every single SCP on the planet... at a price. It took a heavy toll on Earth, and by the time SCP-001 is finished with the SCPs, the Foundation is gone and humanity ceases to exist.
- Fool Me Once: SCP-001 has not neutralized any SCPs like it thought it had, and has instead gone mad and is simply messing with SCiPnet.
This was a long explanation, but it was worth it. This is probably one of my favorite SCPs due to how deep it delves into Foundation lore and how it acts upon the only rule of the SCP Wiki: There is no canon.
tl;dr: Everyone will be a good boy once I am done.
tl;dr: Everyone will be a good boy once I am done.
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